Snooping is bad, too
by dariachenowith
Summary: Alistair is caught spying on the women while bathing. They decide he needs to be 'punished'. Somewhat dub-con, F!Cousland/Alistair, hints of F!Cousland/Leliana. M-rated for lemony goodness.


**All the awesome characters of course belong BioWare! Just stole them to have my wicked ways with them!**

**Also posted on the Dragon Age kink meme, thanks to whoever posted that prompt!**

_"One of the men from camp (not Zevran) spies on the women while bathing. They catch him. And decide he needs to be 'punished'."_

**This is what you get when you confront me with one of the most awesome games of recent history that is brimming over with tension. And resolution thereof. And absolute heartfail the first time I was playing it, as my character was a mage and I figured it served that backstabbing bitch of a Queen right that Alistair should become king. Go figure! So Ceri was born, human female noble origin fighter with a certain mean streak she could never quite explain.  
**

**I don't think I had to write the characters OOC, I can totally see them do something like that. Or maybe that's just me. Plz enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Smut. Obviously M-rated bc the whole game is for adults! Slightly dub-con, but I don't think Alistair really minds that much.  
**

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I really hadn't intended to spy on them. Well, maybe a little, but not in a creepy way. But after days of Oghren and Zevran spinning tales about what the women did when they all disappeared together, I couldn't _not_ attempt to follow them. I was fully expecting to find them washing clothes, or do something equally boring and tedious and totally not worth spying after. Still, if they were washing clothes, there might be the slimmest chance to sneak a peek at what lay usually hidden under all that steel and leather, and I couldn't let that opportunity pass.

And so I found myself, crouched behind a fallen tree, half a mile south of the camp and my heart thundering in my ears loud enough that I was sure they all must have heard it even over their amicable chatter. Another peek, and I quickly flattened myself against the log again. This was both worse and better than what I could ever have come up with in my wildest dreams, which were, in truth, probably not all that wild to begin with.

Worse because I really didn't have to see Wynne clothed in a very thin, ankle-length shift, and while at a glance Morrigan could have been described as beautiful, I could have done without knowing that she had a mole shaped like a half moon high in her right thigh.

Better because who could have imagined that Zev had been dead on when he predicted that the girls were probably splashing around in the water, buck naked, chasing each other? To be honest, Ceri and Leliana were still in their undergarments, but they were _wet_, and consequently nearly see-through, and the water was _cold,_ and there was so much _bouncing_ …

I held my breath as I cautiously took another look, verifying that I was indeed watching this unconcerned display of … unconcernedness, for lack of a better term. It was a miracle that I could still think at all with most of my blood rushing due south while the remainder was heating up my cheeks. No way I could _unsee_ this ever again! I _knew_ it had been a mistake coming here, and if my eyes hadn't been so glued to the nearly naked, lithe, wet limbs before me, I would have realized that I was doomed already, as they would surely start to question my behavior if I could look neither woman in the eyes anymore without blushing furiously.

Guess it was for the better then that in my befuddled state my half-hearted attempt to back away slowly was cut short when a twig snapped loudly under my left foot.

Although closer to me than the two in the water, neither Wynne nor Morrigan seemed to notice, too caught up in their doubtlessly _interesting_ discussion about magic this or magic that. One raised in the woods where twigs probably tended to snap pretty often for no reason, the other unaccustomed to listening for such signs of alarm, they kept minding their business. Too bad for me the same could not be said for roguish bards and well-trained fighters. There was a moment I felt like a hare coming out of the high grass right in front of the wolf as Ceri's ice-blue eyes met mine.

"Is it some darkspawn?" Leliana gasped out, narrowing her eyes in an attempt to see me in the underbrush. Ceri didn't answer, instead barking a quick "Morrigan, cone of cold straight at your six!" at the witch. Still frozen in place by the surge of panic gripping me hard I let the moment pass it took her to extend her arm, then ice enveloped me, freezing me for real.

Ah, crap.

I felt a little like fainting when Ceri came vaulting over the log, still nude except for the alarmingly revealing strips of wet linen doing little to hide her breasts and ass. For a moment a look very close to astonishment crossed her face, but it was soon replaced by a rather nasty smirk as she readied the rope she had been picking up on the way. The moment my body was free of the spell's arctic grasp she bound my wrists in front of my body, leaving me even more at her mercy than before.

"I… I can explain, this so isn't what it looks like, I would never ever dream of spying on you while you were, ah, frolicking in the water ..."

Even the unwise, just caught red-handed man knows when to shut up, so I did just that as four nearly identical mean grins were directed at me, ranging from Wynne's slightly condescending one to Leliana's barely contained mischief.

"'Tis astounding how well versed and eloquent your defense is, Chantry boy," Morrigan jeered, earning snorts and giggles from the other women.

Wynne smacked her lips, trying hard to hide her own smile. "Alistair, really, I'm greatly disappointed. I would have expected such behavior from Zevran, maybe even from the ever drunk dwarf, but to catch you here, lying no less, this so doesn't seem like you."

"I'm not lying!" I tried again. "I hadn't _intended_ to spy on you, it just happened! You see, I'm kind of the innocent victim here, getting attacked by wicked witchy spells and -"

"Alistair, just shut up," my fellow Grey Warden commanded, biting her lush lip to keep from giggling again, and her stern look more than her words made me clamp my mouth shut before I could talk myself into even more trouble. If that was even possible.

Leliana looked from me to Ceri, then briefly to the two mages before her gaze returned to me. "What shall we do with him now? We can't just let him go, that would set a really bad example."

To my utmost horror I saw Ceri and Morrigan nod, while Wynne struck a musing pose.

"I think you are right, my dear. He certainly deserves to be punished."

"Punished?" I squealed, then swallowed hard to try to get my voice down from the girlish pitch that sent Leliana and Ceri into another fit of giggles.

"'Tis only fair," Morrigan agreed, already rubbing her hands with glee. "But what shall we do with him? We cannot put a hex on him unless we want the other men noticing that something happened, and that wouldn't help our cause in the least."

"True. It should be something he doesn't forget so easily. Something befitting his crime," Leliana added.

"Why don't we repay the favor in kind?" That from Ceri. "After all he was hiding in the bushes to catch a glimpse at us in our unmentionables, I think it would only be fair that now that he's seen what he came for, he should at least do us the courtesy of ditching his pants, too."

"What? No!" I tried to dissuade them from their plan, but in a yet unbeknownst show of unity the four women agreed, each nodding their consent, even Wynne to my never ending surprise. Turning to the elder mage I tried to plead with her, but just earned myself a bright smile.

"Just because I'm too old to contemplate doing anything else but watch, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the eye candy," she cut me short before I could do more than open my mouth.

"Oh good, it's decided then. So what are you waiting for, strip!"

Somewhere I mustered the courage for a baleful glare at the witch, trying in vain to hold the last shreds of my dignity together.

"Maker, you can't really expect me to… to do something like that!"

More amused looks were exchanged, until Ceri spoke up again.

"As you wish. Then we're going to strip you."

Her words needed a few seconds to sink in, and at least parts of me definitely liked the idea, but I was simply too horrified to come up with an eloquent answer.

"But you can't -" I tried again, trailing off when I saw no mercy in their eyes, just more devious mirth and mischief.

"And he's definitely protesting too much, we should gag him," Leliana noticed.

By then my head was swimming, without a doubt from all the heat in my cheeks, and I didn't even find the energy to put up much of a fight when the smirking bard forced a wadded up cloth into my mouth and secured it with a strip of fabric, while Ceri threw a second rope over one of the branches above me, tying one end to the coils around my wrists to hoist them up into the air until I was standing, stretched out, before them.

My shame only deepened when Ceri and Leliana set to the task of ridding me of my armor, both knowing too well where all the fastenings were from their own battle gear. I tried hard not to shudder when the thick outer layers fell away, soon leaving me in just my shirt and breeches.

Stepping behind me, Leliana shoved my shirt up my torso and over my head, where it hung from my arms and behind my head as she couldn't fully remove it due to the ropes holding me up. Ceri was meanwhile crouching before me as she undid the lacings of my pants with nimble fingers, grinning from ear to ear. Her face was only inches away from my crotch and the traitorous snake inside my underpants, about the only part of my body very eager to meet with her deft touch.

Well, that wasn't exactly true as pretty much my whole body would have welcomed her touch, but not like this. Not with the others watching.

Not with Wynne and Morrigan watching. I could maybe have compromised with Leliana. But not the witch! And not Wynne! The thought of her of all people seeing me barely clothed put a definite dampener on the strain in my quickly discarded pants, leaving my cock still aching but no longer standing at attention.

Ceri got up once she was done, raking a long line up my body until her gaze met mine. I had to look away when her grin deepened into a smirk, but belatedly I wondered if that had been a glimmer of lust in those bright eyes. Yet when I dared a glance she had stepped back to where the women were gloating at me, wearing an identical leering expression as the others.

"Not too bad, I have to admit," Morrigan considered as she stared at me as if I were a piece of meat. "They certainly keep them fit between all the praying and filling their minds with stupid prejudice."

"Oh, they do. I still remember the time when I was an apprentice at the tower, a few of the other girls and I used to sneak away from our study hours in the library to watch the templars exercise in the courtyard. In the summer they would often practice without their armor, sometimes even without their shirts on. Once we were caught by the Second Enchanter Analysa. She made us scrub pots for a week with the scullery maids, but not after catching a few admitting glances herself."

Morrigan grumbled something under her breath, doubtlessly at the folly of the mages, but Leliana and Ceri found the tale most entertaining.

"Our guards used to do the same, at least until father realized that I seemed to be displaying a certain interest in their formation training when I was thirteen. After that he had them train in full armor even in summer, and made sure that I had all my sparring lessons with Ser Gilmore at exactly the same time."

"Did that really change the fact of the matter? After all there are sparring lessons, and then there are _sparring lessons_," Leliana wanted to know, raising her fingers in a pantomime of quotes.

Ceri laughed but shook her head. "Sadly, Ser Gilmore took his appointed position as my mentor in most things combat very seriously, and proved utterly resistant to my charms. Also to my tears, pouts, aloof demands and other temper tantrums, come to think of it. Although back then I was relieved that someone at least regarded me as a fighter in training and not the spoiled little princess who just wanted to play with swords."

Her words briefly conjured an image in my mind of her, wearing a very inappropriate and short dress, her hair done up in a small girl's pigtails, prancing around. Then she was suddenly kneeling right before me, ready to play with my sword, and a new wave of heat crashed into my cheeks. To my utter mortification my cock definitely liked the image a little too much, stirring anew.

"Ah, seems like you're not the only one who seems to enjoy basking in such memories," Morrigan remarked snidely. Ceri frowned at her with dismay, at least until Leliana chuckled and elbowed her in the ribs, which made her gaze snap to me. I quickly shut my eyes, letting my head fall back in an attempt to ignore the reason for a new round of giggles.

"My, my, I think I'm really getting too old for this, laughing bashfully like a young woman. I'll better head back to the camp before one of our ever vigilant companions gets the wrong ideas and sends for a rescue party," Wynne said as she donned her red robes. I tried to plead with her with my eyes but she just smiled a last time at me before she turned around and stepped into the underbrush, surprisingly silent for someone who had lived in a tower for most of her life.

I knew I was doomed when I dared look back at the remaining three women. While utterly humiliating to be nearly naked in front of Wynne, I was sure that her presence had kept the other three in check, but judging from the way they were grinning and silently nodding at each other, all limits were called off now. I guess I should have been scared out of my wits, but quite frankly, it felt as if my brain didn't have enough blood left to contemplate the full scope of the predicament I found myself in.

Ceri finally stepped towards me, her arms crossed over her chest, smiling up at me sweetly.

"You know, Alistair, we can't just let you go now, either. I mean, we are kind of quits now as far as what you saw and so grudgingly showed us, but I think we agree that while only fair, this is in no way a form of adequate punishment. After all we didn't invite you, and we don't want to encourage such behavior, so we have to make a point."

I just stared at her, a frown building on my face as I didn't really know what she meant with that.

"And what do you propose we should do with him to drive the lesson home?" the witch asked, and I certainly didn't like the dark promise in her eyes.

"How about we spank him?" Leliana proposed gleefully. "After all we caught him sneaking around like a little boy, it's only fair if we treat him like one now, too."

And there I had been sure it couldn't get any worse for me. Mewling my protest into my gag, I wasn't really surprised when the girls ignored me.

"Sounds like a fitting idea, but then we have to get him down from there, and I'm not sure if even the three of us can hold him in place before he takes his chances and runs into the woods."

Right then I hated Ceri's uncanny ability to read my mind, but Leliana was quick to agree once more.

"Oh we don't have to bend him over the knee, exactly. The way I see it we can tan his pert ass just as it's swinging from the branch right there."

She and my fellow Warden let out a bout of joint laughter then, much to Morrigan's dismay.

"I am certainly not going to touch this sweating and stinking lout! I'm out of here, do with him whatever you want!"

Taking her time donning her skirt and boots, the witch soon went to follow Wynne, leaving me alone with the two grinning, barely clothed women. As soon as my cock realized that it did it's best to stand at attention, which of course didn't go unnoticed by them. My cheeks felt sunburnt from all the blushing I was doing, and as much as I tried to think of unpleasant things, my thoughts always returned to them way too quickly.

"Think he likes the idea of getting spanked by us?" Leliana mused, absentmindedly brushing with her arm against Ceri's side. My mind instantly made more of that than just an innocent gesture, and of course they caught on to that, too.

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I get a certain feeling that our dear Alistair here isn't as innocent as he always claims to be, Chantry or no Chantry."

The bard seemed to agree with Ceri's statement, her smile widening.

"You might just be right there. After all I can't really imagine he was creeping around hoping to catch a look at Wynne. I mean just last week he was terribly embarrassed when she told him that while mages in the Circle don't marry each other, they are not averse to sharing each others' beds from time to time. And it's not like he'd have to catch Morrigan doing her laundry to see what she has to offer, she's displaying her good quite openly as it is."

"I guess that just leaves two possibilities. Either he was spying on one of us, or both. Who knows what Zev told him women usually do when they are _doing their laundry_?"

Swallowing became increasingly harder as I saw them exchange meaningful looks, then Leliana cocked her head to the side, and after a moment of hesitation Ceri nodded ever so slightly. I had no idea what that was all about, but let out a silent sigh of relief when the fighter turned back to me, seeming even a little bit defiant.

"It's that last option, right? What crazy ideas did that slut of an assassin set you up with? Something like that we do more than try to scrub the blood stains out of our garments? Something like that we help each other undress?"

She kept looking at me expectantly, and after a moment I nodded. After all he _had_ alluded something along those lines, and while I had been pretty sure that he was just making fun of my obvious inexperience, I wasn't beyond admitting that the idea had held a certain, uhm, appeal to me. Had I been able to, I would have told them that of course I knew it was all nonsense, but my brain came to a stuttering halt when Leliana suddenly reached up and started undoing the fabric holding Ceri's breasts squashed tight against her torso from behind. My eyes were trying to come out of my head as I helplessly watched layer after layer getting stripped away, until the rest of the fabric fluttered to the floor, forgotten. I tried to close my eyes, or at least look away which would have been the most decent thing I could have done, but my body clearly had a will of its own.

And the fact that Ceri didn't seem to mind me looking didn't help one bit to keep my raging erection in check.

But lo and behold, the two vixens were not done torturing me, not by far as I realized then. To make things easier for Leliana, Ceri had raised her arms above her head before, and now reached back to gently stroke Leliana's hair from her cheek. Turning slightly to face each other, they both smiled, before their lips brushed together in a slow kiss. The bard's hands meanwhile settled around Ceri's waist, but soon danced up over her taut stomach to cup her breasts, squeezing them gently as they deepened their kiss.

I seriously started to wonder if I had hit my head somewhere along the way and was either fantasizing, or the Maker had miraculously reappeared and made this world into the promised paradise I had learned about. Although I found it strange that in a paradise the Chantry preached about I would find Ceri and Leliana touching each other like this – that, and not let me join. Fantasizing seemed much more likely.

Somewhat getting lost in where my already addled mind was dragged along by my now painfully hard cock the sound of light laughter dragged me back to the here and now again, only to find myself face to face with a slightly flushed but still evilly grinning Ceri.

"Something like that, huh?" She ended her sentence, and when she realized I hadn't seemed to understand her whole statement, she diligently repeated herself. "You didn't really expect to find us doing something like that here, right?"

It took me a few moments to remember how to fspeak, and when only jumbled grunts came out, I belatedly realized that the gag was still in place. Breaking out into another of those adorable giggle-snorts Ceri reached up and dragged the fabric securing the gag down until it lay around my neck, then pulled the wadded up cloth from my mouth. In doing so her fingers gently brushed my lips and cheeks, and I could feel my cock jerk twice in answer.

Stopping in midmotion she pointedly looked down between our bodies where I was sure that my traitorous dick did everything in its power to strain towards her, but I was glad when she didn't frown but instead grinned even brighter.

Retreating back to where Leliana was observing our little non-exchange, she crossed her arms under her breasts, making them bounce enticingly with the motion. I wondered if I should have said something, but my mind was completely void so I just pressed my lips together and prayed for deliverance – even a horde of darkspawn suddenly descending on us would have been welcome, before the problem between my legs resolved itself. I didn't know if I could have survived _that_ on top of everything else.

"I'm kind of wondering just what he's hiding in his underpants. If you can still call that hiding, with not really much left to the imagination," she then mused, making swallowing impossible for me. As if that wasn't enough, they both chuckled, driving the dawning suspicion home that they were just toying with me. Evil witches, all of them!

"Wanna find out? It's not like he can stop us."

I tried to glare at Leliana for that but her gleeful smile made me look away quickly, and when Ceri answered with a mirth filled "Sure!" I just closed my eyes and hid my face in the folds of my shirt still hanging from my bound arms.

Try as I might, I couldn't suppress a low moan when I felt cool fingers slide over the hot skin of my hips, then under the sweat drenched fabric of the linen separating me from certain death by humiliation. A swift yank and it was gone, causing my hard cock to spring free, about the only part of me now happy to be here.

And of course they giggled then, destroying the last thread of dignity that had still managed to survive through this ordeal, but my dick was still standing proud. Not daring to look at them I bit into the folds of my shirt, then figured I had nothing left to lose. I had no idea if other guys could do the same, but I knew I had to do _something_, and as my throat was too tight to utter some witty remark even if I came up with one, which I didn't, I might as well resort to physical comedy.

A gasp, followed by more raucous laughter, told me I had succeeded at least to some extent.

"Did he just wave at us with his cock?"

"Seems like it! Oh do that again!"

And of course I did, because there wasn't much I wouldn't do if she asked for it. Even if it killed me, although I had until now always figured that would mean something like taking a sword to the guts or throwing myself in front of a spell to save my reckless Lady Cousland.

Still they kept laughing, and I tried to tune out the sound, barely hearing Ceri murmur a quick, "I think I got it from here," to Leliana. Then I heard the rustling of clothes and realized they were going to just leave me hanging like this, probably to send the cursed elf to cut me down later. Maybe he would just kill me instead, I hoped, in an uncanny display of mercy. So I let my head hang in defeat, still refusing to open my eyes lest they see my misery in them.

But then I felt it, that strange and unfamiliar but, Maker's breath! divine sensation of soft lips wrapping around my cock, sucking it into a warm, wet mouth while callused fingers wrapped around the base of my shaft and gently kneaded my balls. I moaned loudly this time, unable to hold the sound back as the churning sensation in my stomach switched from mortified frustration to something else. My eyes flew open, unseeing for a moment before they met ice-blue ones, framed by flaxen locks come undone from the usual tight ponytail.

Then Ceri pulled back, but only to push herself farther down on me until her lips were flush with her fingers at my shaft, intensifying the sensation tenfold. A nearly violent shudder ran through me that only grew worse when she started to suck on my cock in earnest.

I nearly lost my balance when suddenly the rope holding my hands up had some slack, then came jumbling down from the branch. Stuttering dumbfoundedly I turned my head in time to catch Leliana wink at me before she marched into the woods, only wearing her boots and underclothes, the rest of her gear held in her arms.

The scrape of teeth on my cock had me shift my focus back to the warrior goddess kneeling before me, mirth now back in her eyes. I groaned as she resumed working her own magic on me, and almost instantly I felt my climax approach. I tried with all my might to hold back, but it didn't take much more and came hard into her mouth, biting my cheek to keep from alerting the whole camp.

Rearing her head back and letting those lush lips slide from my spent cock Ceri snorted amusedly, then spat the whole gunk onto the ground next to her. Grinning deviously she got back on her feet, gathering up a few drops of semen that had landed on her chest and held those fingers to my mouth.

"Lick them clean," she told me, looking stern but her voice speaking of barely contained laughter. I obediently opened my lips and let her push her fingers inside, and after tentatively swirling my tongue around them, closed my lips and sucked on them wetly just as she retrieved them, my eyes never leaving hers. I was rewarded with one of those radiant smiles that made me forget pretty much everything else, before she reached for my hands to untie me.

"If you put a little more effort into earning your reward next time, I might even swallow," she teased, then turned towards the lake, but quickly rounded on me again to give me a hefty swat on my bare ass. "Nearly forgot about that, after all we agreed that you needed to be punished. After all, snooping is bad, too."

Then she reached down and stepped out of her undies before she ran into the water, disappearing in a splash of water that scared away a few ducks idling nearby. Seconds later her blond head broke the churning surface again as she swam farther into the lake, turning after several tempi to grin back at me.

I didn't know if it was an invitation, and if so, for what, but I knew that I had to get away from her _fast_, unless I wanted to do something that would earn me more than a playful slap. Quickly shoving garments back where they belonged to, I fled, the light sound of her laughter driving new heat into my cheeks, but decidedly more back into my cock. Which was still covered with her saliva. I felt like never again washing myself, but I had the distinct feeling that that might hamper the chances of that "next time" she had hinted at from happening.

Provided I didn't die of shame first, I considered as I stepped into the clearing of our camp, finding Wynne, Morrigan and Leliana sitting together on a log, grinning at me with nearly identical expressions. Again. I might have been wrong, but I got the feeling that it would be a very long way back to Denerim.

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**I don't know if I should add some chapters to this - there are certainly enough ideas and meme prompts out there for it. Let me know what you think!  
**


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